I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
