shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
