3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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