obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
