the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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