I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
