real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
