i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
