i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
