I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
