Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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