Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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