every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
