So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
