I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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