He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
