I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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