I molested 6 butterflies tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
