Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
