2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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