so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
