hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
