I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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