Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
