i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
