would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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