keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
