Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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