Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
