No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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