i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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