My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How does it feel to date your dad?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
