I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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