He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
