I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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