hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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