Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
