their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
