what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
