You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
