call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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