best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
