I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
