We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
