Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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