there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
