i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
