Just cropdusted the office
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
