Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
