I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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