He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
