mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
