I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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