Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
