He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
